5 Good Things: The Friends We Celebrate
This post is sponsored by Botnia.
Frances Ha
GIVES IT TO ME STRAIGHT FRIEND
Honesty is not the best policy, it’s the only policy. This is the friend who for better or worse will let you know if and when you’re about to make a colossal mistake, and if it’s too late, will spare you the I told you so. You need that person in your life who will tell you there’s something off about that someone you met on Tinder. The person who even with brutal words of truth, never has to spell it out for you, because hearing it the hard way is how you know the friendship is real.
THE OFFLINE FRIEND
Bless that one friend who is not consumed with social media. One friend who for about 10 years carried on his life with a flip phone, while everyone was married to the newest iPhone. I always wanted to ask him if he ever felt left out, abandoned in a sea of blue text messages, unaware of emojis. His texts barely made any sense to me and vice versa. Turns out he didn’t feel abandoned, not the least bit, in fact was honored by his given nickname “burner man”, relentless teasing over his burner like phone. No he didn’t sell anything illegal or was under any suspicions, he just didn’t care about the “overconsumption of information” he once told me. He is actually a very cool, intelligent guy, once a part-time dj, an advertising creative director at a cool agency, worked with some of the most popular millennial brands out there. And all within the comforts of his flip phone. It wasn’t until 2018 that I received a Facebook request from him. Admittedly, I was floored, but also found amusement, then questioned if this was a joke or was he being held hostage somewhere and this was a clue, a subliminal call for help that I was meant to figure out. As soon as I accepted the friend request (the first one I’ve accepted in years), I dm’d him with a warm welcome to social media, you’ll hate it but glad to have you here. I added “you know none of our friends actually use Facebook anymore. Except for family funeral deets and buying used furniture.” He messaged back that correct, he indeed already hated it, but he met a girl and he was about to become a dad. Not that Facebook and fatherhood go hand in hand, but I guess his girlfriend needed him to be more out there in the world, to get a smartphone if only for emergencies. He brought up how he noticed so many of his college friends post baby pics and the thought of it scared and confused him. “Don’t they know that once you post it on the internet, that photo of your kid doesn’t belong to you anymore.” Then I remembered how we both bond over Law & Order SVU and understood completely what he meant by that. I was glad he said that, because even with a Facebook account and a new iPhone in hand, I was glad to know that he didn’t succumb to the bells and whistles of technology and social media. You need that one friend who doles out existentialism like they’re vitamins for the soul. He reminds me that life offline will always count more in the end. Memories happen offline.
As expected he’s rarely on Facebook, has never posted a pic of his kid, instead his cute dog. I did find him on Pinterest though which is so him, the only creative director approved of all the social platforms.
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THE CHEERLEADER
Even with social media ruling most of our lives, amassing followers and subscribers, there’s the one friend who has been team you during the best, mediocre and worst times. They may not know all that you’re going through in daily life, yet somehow pops in whenever you need to hear something good, inspiring you to keep going. This person may not have even ever met you in person, since it’s common and easy to form digital friendships. Sometimes, there is a true, good friend out there, that you just haven’t met yet, although you see each other online several times a week. That’s probably more times than you see your IRL friends. The reason you need this person in your life is because they want nothing from you, yet they give you what the other people in your life cannot - devotion. Whether on Instagram or TikTok, we are all cheerleaders for somebody. Once we become mutuals, a little friendship grows into something different and at times more vulnerable than your friendships with people in your day to day life. I see these digital friendships all the time on TikTok, I even have a few, one in particular is a girl with a reactive dog and dealing with it alone, just like me. Instant bond, her videos resonate with me, she gets what I’m going through in ways that my family or friends do not, even though they try really hard to understand. We’ve congratulated each other when our dog didn’t bark at the Amazon delivery worker, which is a huge win. And we’ve rooted each other on days when nothing works. We all know that relationships can exist online and through apps. Friends come in during different eras in our life, we shouldn’t discount the way they enter, especially if they’re always there for us in good ways, even if it’s through a phone screen.
OPPOSITES ATTRACT
This friend teaches you things. They can open your eyes and broaden your mind about different cultures, introduce good films, a music genre, books, anything that you may not have known about had you not been friends. A friend who comes from a totally different background, country, or practices a faith or religion that you’re not acquainted with, you may not even agree on a lot of the same things, but there’s a special understanding between the two of you. As important as it is to be with like-minded people, it’s also a valuable experience to befriend people who are unlike you in some ways. Curiosity could be the thing that holds your friendship together and that’s worth something, if it allows you to grow and learn new things. There is respect in accepting the differences.
THE LAZY FRIEND
Days when you don’t feel adventurous and you just want a mood. So you meet up with a friend for wine or coffee and all you do is talk about nothing of great importance. Someone who can chill out with you, keeping it light, have the same interests, your vibes match perfectly. These are the friends you see in French films or even Instagram posts, people sitting, drinking, chatting, people watching, the simplicity of this friendship sustains you. It’s a moment of taking time out from stresses and obligations. This slow friendship is a respite. A friend who just lets you be you.
