Text Me When You Get Home, An Ode to True Crime
Originally published October 7, 2020
I am that friend who bids farewell with a concerned hug and a “text me when you get home”, a.k.a., get home safe. My good-bye anecdote since college, when the party has ended and the keg has been tapped dry. I have to be the voice of reason, the mother hen who looks out for each of her girlfriends. Now into adulthood, once we get into our respective Uber or Lyfts, the saying still rings true and constant, I need to make sure that you got home safely.
According to some national studies, 70% of women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner. It has also been studied that 23% of female undergrad college students have reported being sexually assaulted or some sexual misconduct towards them in the United States in 2015.
There has yet to be a generation for women to feel naturally safe in a public environment or even in their workplace. The #METOO movement was simply the beginning of women reacting and in many ways solving, if not preventing situations of domestic abuse, sexual harassment and being fatal targets of obsession. The reality is that in any minute of the early morning, day or late night, any one of your female friends (and yourself) is susceptible to physical assault, kidnapping and worse, murder.
illustration by @gemmadarr
Social media, television, films and podcasts are giving high entertainment value to true crimes of the past and present. One of my go-to true crime podcasts is Crime Junkies, run by two female best friends Ashley and Brit who talk about their TC obsession with passionate campfire style of storytelling. They stick to well researched facts of past, and open cold cases. In contrast to Crime Junkie’s style of true crime are the comedic duo of My Favorite Murder podcast. Karen and Georgia are also two friends who bonded over their personal interest in true crimes. They present their favorite tales of past murders and crimes, and along the way is the lightened sprinkle of comedy. Before you smirk at that notion, the hosts are transparent about their comedic theme and careful of never overstepping with insensitive remarks. What I enjoy about both of these female hosted and produced podcasts is that they’re women, more often than not, regaling the horrific stories of other women in dangerous and tragic situations. Both podcasts carry a signature lingo. Crime Junkies always provides a word to the wise to "Be Weird, Be Rude, & Stay Alive”, whereas My Favorite Murder hosts preach to their murderinos, “Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered.” I abide by both mantras.
As women, one of the ways we can look out for one another is through our own brand of “safe words”, such as my longstanding “text me when you get home” rule. A few years ago, I said this to my girl friend as she was getting into a taxi. Little did I know that she had actually made a stop at her boyfriend’s apartment instead of heading straight home. I worried for two straight hours, why hadn’t she texted when she only lived a ten minute cab ride from the bar? After several texts to her (my infamous twenty texts, I am a serious worrier), she finally texted me back where she was and that she was okay. Sigh of relief. Was I mad that she forgot to text me? No, because really, when you’re that concerned and worried about a friend’s safety, anger is never on the table. Since then, she knows better than to have me worry.
Along with the millions of eager listeners, my personal fascination with true crime has heightened a need to feel safer. Since listening to this genre as well as binge watching crime dramas, true crime docu-series and films, I’m more paranoid than ever. But, for good reason. I am a woman, constantly exposed in a jungle of thieves, stalkers, deviants, rapists, murderers. No one ever plans on becoming another fatal statistic, but you should be aware of any possibility of becoming one. And yes, when absolutely necessary, be weird, be rude, be safe.
Text me when you get home. I mean it.
MARCJACOBS.COM
